The Other Side of the Page
by Jayeliwood
Summary: Edward was always been different. He wanted different things out of life than others. He has an interesting past and he's still dealing with the baggage, but that certainly doesn't slow him down when he mets a girl. The right one. EPOV of The List!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is an Edward's point of view of the second and the very beginning of the third chapter of my other story, The List! **

**I hope you enjoy!**

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**Unexpected**

"Man, can you help me out with something?" Jasper begged me around eleven in the morning. I was still in bed and I was exhausted. I worked late the night before but who was I to deny my best friend?

"What is it?" I mumbled, sitting up slowly.

"My parents are coming over for dinner tonight."

"Okay..." I said slowly. "What does that have to do with me and my help?"

"I was wondering if you'd help me kick around some ideas for dinner and maybe go grocery shopping with me?" He asked, a little bit of embarrassment tainting his southern accent.

"Alice not willing to play the doting wife and help you?" I teased him, getting up from the bed and stretching.

"No," he snorted. "Actually, she has plans. Shes having lunch with a good friend of ours from high school."

I looked at my clock again. It was my day off and it wasn't like I had anything to do. I was planning mostly on sleeping, but I didn't mind helping Jasper. He knew I enjoyed cooking just about as much as he liked baking.

"How about we grab some sushi before hand? I just woke up."

"Meet you at that place we went to last week?" He asked, getting more excited. Jasper hated shopping for grocery but not nearly as much as Alice did. It was too domestic for her taste. And he hated shopping on his own. He always had someone with him, he didn't know what it was like to be alone.

But, I did.

"Be there in twenty."

I ordered a salad and a glass of water to go along with my rolls. Jasper ordered us a pot of green tea and he was swirling the light green liquid around in the tiny white cup. He seemed totally lost in thought. "Where's your head?" I asked.

He smirked slightly, "just thinking about the girl Alice is hanging out with. She's the reason I met Alice," he smiled wistfully before he chuckled quietly, "I actually had a small crush on Bella for a time so I tried to get closer into her little circle of friends. Alice was her best friend and when I met her... God, I just forgot about everyone else."

"Bella?" I raised an eyebrow. "So, does Alice know you had a crush on this girl?"

He laughed, "yes. She was teasing me about it last night. Bella always been a very... _full_... girl. Very curvy. She had a great rack. I wonder if she still has one," he said, his thoughts trailing off. I laughed at him, taking a sip of my own tea.

"You're awful."

"At least I'm getting laid," he challenged in his shit eating grin sort of way. I rolled my eyes at him, trying to ignore his words. "When was the last time?"

"Jane," I said. He scoffed, "yeah, I know. I know. Trust me, I fucking know."

"Maybe I can introduce you to Bella," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "She was so hot when we were in school in that nerdy sort of way. You know, geeky hot before geeks were hot."

"You're a loser, you know that?" I asked him, annoyed. "A real git."

He smiled and I knew an interesting comment was coming next but he was distracted by our food. I was grateful for that. I wanted the subject dropped and very quickly.

Jasper had always been with Alice so he didn't understand the position I was in. I didn't want to just have sex. I wanted to settle down one day and have kids. I'd always wanted that. That's all I ever wanted. Before I had lost the weight I thought that it would never happen. And then I lost it and I had so much hope.

But here I was, losing hope again.

"You do realize that this makes us look like a couple of pillow biters," I asked him as we roamed the aisles of the food store. Jasper had yet to decide what he was making for dinner. I suggested Italian. He was ignoring me.

"You want to hold my hand, honey?" He asked, blowing me a kiss stupidly.

I gagged a little.

"You frighten me," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "How about Thai?"

"Dude, they're from small town Texas. They're never had Thai food before," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Fried Chicken and mashed potatoes then," I countered. He grinned, nodding his head like a little kid. "Don't forget the corn bread and gravy."

"See! This is why I bring you along!" He said, patting my back.

He honestly didn't me along to figure out that meal but the company was nice. I wasn't going to complain about that.

We brought the two bags into his house and the place reeked. I mean, the smell was super strong and one I knew rather well.

I had lived with Jasper and Alice after all.

And I was a musician. I think it was a requirement to smoke it at least once.

"Is that pot?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"What are those girls up to?" He said, putting down the bag in the foyer. I followed suit and trailed Jasper into the living room. There were Chinese boxes on the table, the smell getting stronger and stronger the closer we went into the kitchen. "I bet they're eating cake."

"How?" I heard a soft and beautiful voice say that certainly didn't belong to Alice. I could only assume that it belonged to their friend Bella. Well, if her voice any indication, she was still attractive. It wasn't exactly that normal high pitched female voice. It was a bit raspier. I liked it. It was different.

"A ton of these are easy! You just have to get up and do them. Some of them involves others," Alice said in an excited voice. It was her 'I've smoked too much' voice. It just got higher and higher the _higher_ she got. "But I think once you gain a bit of confidence it'll be easy enough."

I wondered what the bloody hell they were talking about.

"If you say so," the raspy voice replied, a soft and sad sigh in her tone.

"I do! And I'm always right!" Alice said. I just rolled my eyes. Jasper did the same.

"Sure, that's just what you want everyone to believe!" Jasper said, letting our presence be known. Alice would have gotten annoyed if she knew we were there just watching them. She'd tell us that we were just doing it on purpose to try to make her paranoid.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed, running up to Jasper and throwing her arms around his neck. He laughed and kissed her, pulling her feet off the ground. Honestly though, I didn't really notice them. I noticed the woman sitting in the stool. From behind I saw her awesome curves. And I do mean awesome. When she turned around I saw that her skin was slightly flushed, her high and round cheeks lightly dotted with a frosting of caramel colored freckles. Her deep chocolate brown eyes were dilated, showing that she was indeed high. I smiled at the fact, because honestly, it was funny. Her full mouth opened slightly, her eyes focusing solely on me.

I flushed at her attention and I hoped to God she didn't notice.

"Ooo!" Alice giggled loudly for some reason. "Bella, this is Edward. He's a total stranger."

"What?" The girl asked, confused. I was confused by the introduction as well, but I blamed it on the fact that she was stoned.

I had heard her say and do stranger things.

"The list! It's on the list. The stranger one," Alice rambled, pointing at a piece of paper on the island. I raised an eyebrow at Jasper but he just shrugged. Alice hopped down from his arms and went straight over to Bella, who was still looking at me intently.

I wondered if she thought I was attractive as I thought she was.

I'll admit it. I always liked women who had 'junk in the trunk' as my Uncle Emmett so crudely put it. A woman with something to hold onto and love was just so much better. I loved the softness. The fleshy thighs and hips, large breasts and...

Just looking at this woman and I was getting a major erection. But I had very little time to dwell on that because Alice suddenly shoved Bella in my direction.

I grabbed her quickly as she slammed into my chest. She was much shorter than me. Maybe five foot five at the most. I put my arms around her waist so she wouldn't fall to the floor. Her large brown eyes gazed into my own, her face turning a darker shade of delicious red. Her full lips parted and she panted out a soft, chocolate smelling breath.

And much to my delighted surprise, she kissed me. Her small hands went to my face, pulling me down so it would be easier as she reached up on tip toes. At first I didn't move, not knowing what to do.

Should I push her away and be a gentlemen? Or should I kiss her in return?

Kiss her won out.

One of my hands slid up her back, brushing against the clasp of her bra as she deepened the kiss considerable. I imagined taking off her shirt and taking off her bra, right in the middle of this kitchen.

Then taking her on the counter top.

I had to stop watching so much damn porn.

I don't know exactly how long we kissed, but I didn't care. I honestly began to forget about the others there. Finally I heard my friend say,"what the hell?" His wife just giggled like the high idiot she was.

Alice said something to Jasper but I honestly didn't really hear it. I heard him laugh loudly and ask her a question. She answered, but it was sort of a blur.

In my head I was trying to figure out how to get her into a bed without seeming like a one night stand asshat that was simply taking advantage of her baked state.

But, I wasn't that kind of guy. I knew I needed to stop before I finally did drag her into their spare bedroom. But, for the life of me, I couldn't let go of her. A crowbar couldn't have removed my arms from her soft little body.

"Hi, I'm Edward," I breathed out stupidly. If I didn't know better I would have sworn I had gotten a bit of a contact high.

"I'm Bella," she muttered as she blushed.

"Bella, you taste like chocolate," I laughed, furthering my idea. Honestly, I knew that wasn't the case. Maybe I was just high off of her. But still, I rambled on like I normally did when I was nervous. "I think that was the best greeting I've ever gotten before."

Jasper had to break up our moment though.

_Asshole_.

"Man, do I get kissed? I want to be greeted like that!" Jasper laughed, pulling her into a tight hug before kissing her soft cheek. I wanted to rip her out of his arms and just hold onto her. I wasn't that stupid though. I wasn't an animal. "So good to see you again, Bella!"

"Good to see you too."

She was blushing so brightly. It was so damn beautiful.

"So, if you girls don't mind, can you take this party else where? My parents are coming over in two hours and I need to start cooking," Jasper said as he rolled his eyes and smiled over at me. I knew he was wondering if I'd end up joining the girl in a smoke, not that I had done it since I'd gotten thin. I didn't want to be tempted into over eating. If a stoner had a choice between a carrot and a cookie, honestly, which would he pick? I didn't need the sugar.

If I had gotten stoned right then, it would have been horrible. I would have ended up taking Bella right in front of Alice and I was completely sure that Jasper would not be pleased or amused.

I tried to be a gentlemen, but God knows I had trouble controlling my thoughts.

"Oh, God! I'm imposing! I'm so sorry. I should go," Bella's eyes became wide as she snatched that piece of paper off the counter that Alice had been pointing to earlier.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Alice said, shaking her head. "It's fine, sweetie! You don't have to go yet. And don't be so paranoid. You're not imposing at all."

Alice was right. She was paranoid. I wasn't surprised. I would have been paranoid as well if I was smoking in a place I had never been before with a friend I hadn't seen in years. Especially after I randomly kissed a person.

"Are you sure?"

_Oh, my god_, my brain shouted. She was biting her plush bottom lip, making it redder and more plump. I hoped no one pointed at the erection I was now sporting.

Cold shower. That's what I'd be taking once I got home. A cold _cold_ long _long_ shower.

"I really should go. I need to get some work done at home," she added in quickly.

"You're not driving in your condition," Jasper frowned deeply.

"Jasper's right," Alice agreed.

Like hell I was going to let her drive while stoned. I would have never allowed that, even if I didn't want to shag her. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if something happened to her.

"Hey, I should get going myself," I placed my hand on her back and I felt her shiver slightly. I wondered if she felt it too. That pull. That heat that I felt. "I could take you home. Where do you live?"

"Like ten minutes down the street."

"Oh! That would be good. And tomorrow Jasper and I can drop off your car. We can do lunch or something again and talk about the list," Alice clapped her hands, her face getting redder.

Mentally I was doing a little dance. I was jumping for joy. I was going to get to spend time with this beautiful woman alone.

And maybe, just maybe, I'd get to kiss her again.

She looked at me for a long moment, worrying that bottom lip again. If she didn't stop I'd probably end up having a mess to clean up later. "If you don't mind?" She finally asked.

"It would be my honor," I said, swinging my arm in front of me like I was a gentlemen. I was trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal and that I wasn't freaking out just a little bit. Or a lot. A fucking lot.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at me as the girls said their goodbyes to each other. I just shrugged and smiled innocently. He rolled his eyes in return before mouthing the words 'have fun'.

At first this rather frustrated me. I didn't want to make her feel like a tart or something. But then I thought about it. She kissed me first. And by god, it was fun. And I wanted to do it again.

I also wanted to know why she kissed me, though I didn't really care the reason. I was just glad she did.

Because it was, by far, the best kiss I had ever received.

"So, may I ask why you kissed me?" I finally asked, unable to keep the jovial mood out of my voice. She wasn't as high as she was when we first got there, but she still was. And more than a little paranoid when she quickly shook her head and told me no. I snickered at her response. "Okay, that bad?"

"I'm just embarrassed is all. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, will probably beat my ass."

_Boyfriend? Oh, hell no!_ We couldn't have her thinking that at all. I was very much unattached. And extremely straight. As an arrow.

"I have none of the above," I said quickly, trying to keep my eyes on the road. I wanted to look at her so badly so I could see her reaction.

Would she be pleased or would it not matter?

"Well, that's some comfort. It's bad enough that I threw my chunky self at you. I'm sure a good looking guy like you gets a lot better offers than me," she sighed heavily.

What the hell was she talking about? Yes, she was a little bit rounder than most women but she was by no means fat. I loved her shape. I loved her body.

In fact, I wanted to kiss and lick and suck and taste every single inch of it.

"Are you fishing for compliments?" I asked after clearing my throat, a little too amused and arroused with my last thought.

"What?" She asked, truly confused.

Did she not see how? How was that not possible?

"You are a beautiful woman. I wouldn't have kissed you back if I didn't want to."

"Like I'm your type," she scoffed and it was all I could do not to pull over the car to shake her. Thankfully we pulled up to her apartment. I wanted to grab her up in my arms and tell her that she was beautiful until she believed me. But, for once I decided to try and be a little bit smoother than normal.

"You are, actually. I happen to be extremely attracted to brunettes."

"That's not what I meant," she said in a tiny and very sad voice.

I hated that. Honestly, I knew how she felt. For a very long time I felt the same way about myself but god, she was beautiful. How could she not know?

"I know. Come on, let me walk you up. I won't feel right until I'm sure you're safely back in your apartment." I got out of the car and quickly went to the other side to help her out. I didn't know if she was stable on her feet or not.

She looked at my fingers for a long minute before taking my hand slowly. Was she scared of them? Or of me?

"Thanks for this," she said as we walked towards the large glass and metal building.

It was one of the highest end apartments in the city. I mean, really nice. I couldn't help but wonder where she got the money for this place. She didn't seem like she was some spoiled little rich girl. I hoped she wasn't.

"It's my pleasure. This is a really nice building. You must be good at whatever you do."

She blushed brightly for some reason, like she was embarrassed. "I own my own business. I work from my home so I like it to be as nice as possible."

"That's awesome. What type of business?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

It suddenly felt so awkward.

"Computers."

"Wow, you don't meet many woman in the computer biz," I answered. I wanted to smack myself very hard on the forehead for my extremely dim response. She was going to think I was an idiot.

"So, this is mine," she said, opening the door very quickly. "Thanks again."

I had two choices at this point. I could be a coward and just let her go into her apartment without saying anything else. Or, I could do something totally out of my character and do something about it. Make some sort of move.

The choice wasn't that hard to make.

"Bella, wait," I said, making her turn around. She looked up at me with her large doe eyes, her breath once again coming out in soft short pants. Finally, I spoke, "thank you."

"For what?" She whimpered out, her voice soft and barely above a whisper. Just the memory of her lips on mine made me lick my lips in desire. I wanted to taste her on them again so badly.

"For kissing me earlier. Probably the best kiss I've ever had," I told her truthfully.

She seemed totally shocked. I wasn't really sure why. "Really?"

"Best tasting, too," I laughed as I noticed a tiny smudge of fudge on the corner of her full delicious looking lips. "In fact, you still have some chocolate on your mouth."

"Oh, God!" She flushed. I brought my hand up to her face, going to wipe it away with my thumb but then her hand touched mine. Electricity sparked through my entire system and it was like I was suddenly on fire.

My body acted without permission, my mind making itself up. I was then on acting on instincts.

"Let me help you with that," I said, before leaning in and once again tasting her sweet mouth. And I knew right away it wasn't the chocolate that made her taste so good. It was just her natural flavor. Her hands went up to my shirt, clutching it almost desperately. It was like she was afraid I was going to suddenly flee.

I wanted to shout, 'no, my sweet girl! No! I'm not going anywhere.' But I was too busy kissing her.

Pressing her back against the door, her free hand searched for the door knob. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the door flung open.

I pulled my lips a hair's breath away, smiling uncontrollably at the fact that I was so... _turned on_. I had never felt so warm in my life. I was on fucking fire because of this woman. I wanted her. I had to have her. Gentlemen be damned.

Maybe that's why the words slipped so easily from my mouth.

"May I come in?"

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**I hope you enjoyed! Make sure to add this to your alerts so you can find out whenever something new has been added to it! I had a lot of fun writing this!**

**On twitter if you wanna follow! Jayeliwood!**

**So, do we understand Edward a little bit better now?**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I don't know if I'll do this full story from Edward's POV. I'll consider it. I haven't decided. **

**Thanks for all the reviews on the first installment though!**

**Enjoy!**

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**Touch me**

"Mm," she moaned loudly, wrapping her fingers tightly around my hair and pressed her unbearably soft lips against my own. She tasted absolutely fucking amazing. And it so wasn't the chocolate.

I all but growled at the poor stoned girl as I moved us back into her place. With a little bit too much force, I kicked the door shut. It slammed, making the pictures on the walls rattle with the sheer power of it. I don't think Bella noticed at all though as we continued to kiss. Her purse and keys fell to the floor and I kicked them to the side so we wouldn't step on them. I wouldn't want her to lose anything important.

Her soft body pressed against my own, her tongue forcing it's way into my mouth. She was dominating the kiss and I loved it. I could have done it forever if I didn't start to feel so light headed. I had to pull away, panting furiously as my forehead rested against hers. "I take it back," I said finally, feeling a buzz at the back of my skull.

She had no idea what I was talking about. You could tell by the confusion in her dark chocolate brown eyes. "Take what back?"

I bit my lip as I continued to look into her eyes. I was blushing like a moron, I knew but I couldn't control it. "Earlier being the best kiss. That was the best kiss I've ever had before."

And then she did something that completely surprised me. She started laughing,.

I pulled back just a little bit to look at her, her face flushed and moist. She leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss before pulling back almost shyly. I pulled back just a little bit more, watching a dew drop of salty warm liquid roll down the side of her neck. I could not _not_ lean down and taste her. It was pure Bella.

She made some sort of noise, deep and throaty. Thick and desperate for more. Or, at least, that's what it sounded like to me. She turned slightly, pressing against my chest. I could feel her heart thumping against me as my arms went around her body to support her weight. She slumped to the side slightly to give me better access to her neck, which for some reason I could not stop kissing. I probably couldn't stop if I wanted to. When her fingers went into my hair, pressing my lips to her skin, I knew she didn't want me to.

"I've known you for less than an hour," she breathed out as her ass rubbed against my straining erection.

Was she trying to kill me? I quickly turned her around before I made a mess of myself. I sank my teeth into her flesh, a nice punishment for teasing me the way she did. "I know," I whispered softly. "Do you want me to stop?"

My heart ached at the idea. More than that. My crotch did. I didn't always like being a guy but there were certain things that didn't go away. I would be a gentlemen, of course, if she wanted me to be.

I knew, even if I would be slightly disappointed, that if we ended it here, I'd be a very happy man.

But that didn't mean I wouldn't persuade her towards something more. I nibbled along the shell of her hear before licking it slowly. I loved the way her body shook when I nipped at it. "No," she gasped, her fingers tighten in my hair. "Uh, fuck me."

For once my heart, my head, and well... my other head, were in unison. They were all screaming 'hell yes!' I squeezed her waist, bringing her closer to me. I needed to be as close as possible. I also wanted to double check before I just assumed.

"Do you want me to?"

She nodded, her soft lips against mine. I almost felt... _overjoyed_, as stupid as it sounds. I brought my hands to her plump ass and pressing her against my hard on to show her just how much I wanted her. How much I needed her.

I was a little disappointed when she started to move away but she muttered that she wanted to go to the couch.

I had NO problems with that.

We moved together, kissing again until her knees hit the back of the arm. She fell backwards, taking me with her. I was worried for a moment that I would crush her under my weight but she didn't seem to notice so I wasn't going to say anything. But, I knew I did have to bring something else up. I knew she was... well, messed up, and I had to clear a little fact up.

I whispered against her neck,"just to let you know, I don't do these sort of things. I don't have one night stands."

She nodded, but I knew she didn't believe me. I knew I'd have to prove it to her once she was sober again. I would prove that I only wanted certain things in this life, and meaningless ass was not one of them.

Of course, all thoughts were thrown out of the window when Bella pressed her hips against mine and brought me into a deep and passionate kiss. She was so good at what she was doing. It was amazing.

"Jesus, you're sexy," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I began to work on her shirt to hide my embarrassed blush, distracting myself with her soft creamy white skin. She was so sexy.

I pulled back slightly to look at her soft smooth stomach. There was a tiny freckle in the middle of her stomach and another peeking at from the top of her silky cream colored brown bra. I wanted to explore what was underneath those cups though. I pulled both cups down at the same time and I was greeted by the sight of extremely dark and swollen nipples.

I moved to one side, capturing one of them in my mouth and hummed in pleasure at the taste. Her flesh was stiff and I teased it with my tongue, loving the way it bounced back into place so quickly. I could have done it all damn day. And apparently she didn't mind because she was wiggling underneath me, my erection coming in contact again and again with her very warm and hot center. I brought the nipple in between my teeth and tugged hard before looking up at her. "You taste good all over."

Then I moved over to the other nipple. We didn't want to leave one out, of course.

"That feels good."

I was almost insulted. Just good? It needed to be better than that. I needed to show her just how much I wanted her. How sexy I thought she was. I needed to make her feel worshiped. She was a goddess in my eyes.

"I want to make you feel better than good though," I informed her as I worked off her jeans.

Okay, I must admit something. I love to eat. That was kind of obvious because of my previous size, but I loved to eat everything... and I mean that in a very literal way. I remembered the first time I did it with my first girlfriend. It was the first really sexual thing we ever did. I remembered the way she moaned my name and gushed against my tongue. Every time I did it and got that kind of reaction my ego inflated ten times. I was slightly addicted to the feeling.

Of course she said I didn't have to do it, stuttering it nervously. Most women said that. I didn't understand that. If I didn't want to shove my face against her hot wet pussy, I wouldn't have. I had as much say in the matter as she did.

"Shhh, I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to," I informed her.

And she began to tremble. Just at the words. This girl needed this. She needed my tongue just as much as I needed to taste her.

I rubbed her soft thighs, kneading the muscles gently as I gazed upon her for the first time. She was wearing the most adorable pumpkin orange underwear with a star on them at the very front. It was like they were saying 'you are here'.

I smirked when the thought 'her panties are a road map. Or better yet, a treasure map.'

Treasure, indeed.

I brought my nose to the very bottom of where I could reach, dragging my nose upwards until I was looking at her. She smelt so good. My mouth was literally watering. And her reaction... well, it was even better.

"MOTHER OF GOD!" she screamed and I had to tighten my grip on her thighs less she taken off the couch.

I looked up to see her heaving large breasts bouncing up and down, her hands clutching onto the couch for support. Her hair was wild, a curly mass of beautiful brown haloed around her head and her eyes were rolled up in the sockets.

"Now this is a pretty view."

I smiled to myself, running my nose all around in a circle until I found exactly what I was looking for. Her clit. It was moist and heavy with her scent. "Can't wait to taste you," I told her truthfully.

I wanted to drink her dry.

Using two of my fingers, I pushed the fabric to the side and began to taste her. She was so fucking wet. Literally glistening, tiny droplets rolling down her pink flesh. I wouldn't let any drop go to waste as I began to attack her. When my tongue flicked against her flesh, I was rewarded with a fresh round of her sweetness. "Fuck yes," I said with intense pleasure.

I squeezed her thigh with one hand as I spread her open with the other, attaching my mouth to her clit almost desperately. She writhed and moaned, trying desperately to move her panties down so that I would have more access. I couldn't pull myself away.

"Fingers, use your fingers," she begged.

Fuck, she had no idea the things I was going to do to her. "I plan on using more than my fingers."

But if we were going to do more we would need more room. Somewhere more comfortable. I pushed myself upwards.

I almost laughed at her reaction, cursing as she pushed herself up. But the noise was caught in my throat as I looked at her. She was exposed but not, all at the same time. I could see her nipples hard and erect, keeping her bra from sliding into place once more and her uncovered hot wet center, dripping and throbbing because of me.

It made her even more beautiful.

I needed to get her to bed right away.

I held out my hand, "come on. Take me to your bed. We'll both be more comfortable there and I promise to finish what I started."

When she got up, she had a little trouble so I decided to do something about that first. I turned her around slowly and began to kiss her sweat covered neck as I fought with the clasp of her bra. Finally it fell and I went to the floor with it.

Her gorgeous round ass was right in front of my face and it took everything I had in me to keep from attacking it like a mad man. Instead, I pressed a kiss to her spine as I pulled her underwear away. I turned her around so I could look up into her eyes. "That is so much better."

And then she said four of the worst words ever. They were... _heartbreaking_.

"This is so embarrassing."

"Why? Why is it embarrassing?" I demanded. Why would me worshiping her be embarrassing?

"I'm... you know... and you're..." She stuttered. What was she trying to say?

"So turned on that I can hardly walk," I told her truthfully as I looked up at her. She had to know the truth. "I want you and badly. What do I need to do to prove it?" I kissed her stomach lightly, flicking out my tongue to taste her ever so gently. Carefully I took her leg by the bend in her knee and moved until she had one leg on the coffee table. Above me she was completely wide open, unable to hide how turned on she was. I never looked away from her. And I knew by the look in her eyes that I had not done enough worshiping, which was something that could be easily fixed. "Will this?"

I held onto her ass as I kissed her as if I was kissing her on the mouth, making sure every inch was touched and tasted before moving right between her legs with my tongue. Her soft curls brushed against my skin, tickling me and just generally adding onto the wonderful sensation of eating her. Carefully I pressed two fingers inside of her very tight body, twisting and turning them in just right way until she screamed.

And with just a simple curl of my fingers, she came. It was an effort to keep my fingers inside of her, she was squeezing so hard. I loved it. I needed her to do that for me. I needed to make her do that. And I needed it again.

Sadly, she grabbed my hair and yanked me backwards in mid lick. I hadn't planned on stopping for a while but apparently she had other plans as she said she wanted to go to bed.

That was one idea I was not going to argue with.

I hopped up to my feet excitedly, letting her lead me back to her bedroom. I didn't really notice anything about it except for the large comfortable looking bed and the sex craved look in Bella's eyes. I couldn't help but asked how I did.

"Are you crazy? Like you don't know," Bella said as she tried to remove my shirt, struggling with it until finally she tossed it to the floor with some pride. She stood back and just starred. It was a little unnerving and I wanted to know what she was thinking. But more than that, I wanted to make sure of something.

"Tell me,"I asked her as I looked into her liquid chocolate eyes. They remind me of warm mugs of cocoa almost. "Can you tell now that I want you?"

My therapist would have a field day with me comparing the most attractive parts of her body to food, but he could kiss my ass. It was true.

She breathed softly as she lifted up on her toes to kiss me, "yes."

It was just what I needed to hear.

She laughed quietly as I pushed her onto the bed. Instead of laying back she sat up all prim and proper with an amused expression. "You've seen mine now. Show me yours."

In my head I knew I wasn't the man I once was. But, still it was hard for me to be nude in front of people. I blushed as I swallowed back the fear, knowing that Bella wouldn't care. Besides, I wanted it. I wanted her. So I took off my belt and took out my condoms.

When I let my pants go to the floor her eyes went wide and her mouth gaped open.

I didn't know whether to freak out or be extremely please. But my nervousness did nothing for my popping erection. It was practically pointing at her! I needed some sort of relief so I took myself in my hands, rubbing it every so gently.

And like I normally did when I was nervous, I began to babble. "I've been hard since the first time you kissed me. I thought I was going to have to jerk off in the car before I drove home."

I closed my eyes and grimaced. Why the hell had I told her that? I mean, it was true but none the less embarrassing. But I had only a couple seconds to dwell on it before she surprised me by sliding me into her hot mouth. "MOTHER FUCKER!" I hissed, totally in shock and in heaven all at the same time. Her arms wrapped around my lower body to anchor herself as she worked me in the most amazing way possible. If she didn't stop it would be all over soon. "Bella. Bella, baby. I'm going to come down your throat if you don't stop that. Fuck. Fuck yes," I gasped as she took me all the way into her mouth and I began to hit the back of her throat.

Oh. _Fuck_.

"Kind of the idea there, handsome."

Sex Goddess. That's what she was. And if she didn't stop, I was going to blow it all over the place. I wanted more than that though. "Fucking Hell. Fuck. Get on your knees on the bed. I want to be fucking you when I come."

I knew exactly how I wanted her so I quickly rolled onto the condom and sat back on the bed. She seemed a little confused."How do you want me?"

"Every way I can have you," I whispered to her as I brought her in for another slow and soft kiss. She smiled against my mouth and I couldn't help but return it as I asked, "will you indulge me?"

"Yes."

Gently I guided her into the exact place that I wanted her. Reverse cowgirl of sorts, or some variant on it. I could do so much much to her in this position. I was going to make sure she came again, this time with me shoved deep inside of her.

When I slid inside of her it was shocking how tight it was. I knew she was tight around my two fingers but I never imagined that it would feel so good. It felt like she was molded just perfectly to my cock. But, I didn't want to hurt her."Are you okay? Is this okay?"

She nodded her head quickly and I waited for a moment to see if she was going to add anything verbally to that but she didn't. I decided a little nudging would be needed so I placed one hand on one of her very full breasts and whispered softly into her ear. "Ride me, Bella."

I moved my hand so it was just brushing against the sensitive nub between her legs, playing with her nipple at the same time. She was gasping and moaning the most beautiful sounds, her body slow and deliberate with each stroke. I leaned my face forward against her back, praying to hold out just a little bit longer because the feeling was just so good. Awesome, really. I began to kiss her back, counting as I did to get past the feeling.

I had just reached her neck when she pulled her hair away and I instantly attached to it, sucking off a few precious beads of dewy sweat. She moaned as I felt her tighten slightly, soft goosebumps rising as she shook slightly.

"I'm close again."

And instantly with those words, so was I.

"What do you need? Tell me what you want me to do to make you come," I begged her because I needed her to finish. I had to feel her around me that way.

"Fingers, harder," she begged raspingly, her head falling forward as she began to move just a little bit faster. As soon as I beg to rub her just a little bit harder, she cried out loudly. "Hell yes!"

The second she let go, so did I. She moaned and screamed and swore and I was just knocked speechless. I leaned my head against her shoulder, trying to get back to earth.

When I finally felt like I was stable I decided it was probably best to throw away the condom. Bella had laid down on the bed, one of her hands on her forehead as her eyelids fluttered. She looked absolutely conked. I moved in beside her and whispered into her ear, "going to take a nap?"

As soon as I asked the question, a soft snore left her lips. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

One of the things I learned very quickly was Bella was a very verbal person. Words, mostly jumbled, fell from her lips as she slept. Some seemed happy while other's were not. I wasn't going to bother her though unless I needed to. After about two hours she began to shake almost violently, begging for something. She she nearly screamed. I whispered her name quietly, rubbing her back gently to coax her back into the real world. I soothingly began to kiss her shoulder.

I knew the moment she was awake because she went completely still and she tried to hold in her breath. Soon after her heart rate tripled, and I watched as the vein along her neck thumped wildly. "You're awake and you're excited," I commented almost absently.

"How can you tell?" She said, her voice thick was sleep. She wasn't aroused, I could tell that much.

"Your heart beat. It's going a million miles an hour. Are you okay?" I asked her quietly as I moved her hair out of her face. I was trying to get a better look but as soon as I touched her she bolted straight up and wrapped the blanket around her body.

A flurry of emotions crossed her face as she looked at me. Surprise, horror, fear, shock, amazement, and then finally settling on embarrassment. She gave me a weak smile before pulling her knees up to her body like she was shielding herself from me.

_Oh, god, this is not good... _

And then she muttered the four absolute worst words in the English language.

"We need to talk."

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**Wow, that was nothing but lemon lol I'm sure you guys don't mind. It still gives insight into Edward's personality. **

**On Twitter, if you wanna follow! Jayeliwood!**

**So, I have a feeling it's going to be a bad day... (How wrong would I be to put a restraining order on a crazy ass family member?) Reviews = love. Please send love :(**

**Did you like the lemon more in Bella's POV or Edward's? I think Bella's was a bit hotter but I like Edward's personality lots. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! I want to thank everyone who has been so awesomely supportive of my stories. You are the best and I hope you enjoy!**

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**Hope**

After my lovely little chat with Bella, I went home and crashed on my couch. A lot of her words struck home with me.

Like, 'work on myself'. And, 'I don't like who I am, right now'. Or maybe most of all 'I need a change.'

She wasn't blowing me off, per say. She said she wanted to be friends. She also said that she loved the time that we had together and that it was the best she ever had.

I wasn't sure what to make of all of that.

I knew what it was to work on myself and one of the things I learned the hard way was that you couldn't do it alone. You needed a support system.

I could be that for Bella. I wanted to be. Even if it was just as a friend. But honestly, I already knew I wanted more from her than that. I wouldn't push it though. I would, even if I didn't like it, respect Bella's wishes to keep things non physical.

I fell asleep on my couch, tired and frustrated in a lot of ways. And that night I dreamed of Bella's skin, creamy white and trembling underneath my wondering lips.

I was surprised I didn't leave a mess in my jeans from the erotic intensity of the dream. "Fuck..." I mumbled out loud.

I needed to know more about this girl. I wanted to know everything but I knew that wasn't happening anytime soon. But, I knew what little information I could get would be from one source.

I texted Jasper quickly, _tell me everything you know about Bella._

_I know nothing,_ he replied back.

_Liar_

It only took a few seconds before I got his answer. _I'm not suppose to say anything. _

_Why not?_ I asked with a growl.

_Alice made me promise. I'm sorry, if I have to choose between giving you info and my balls... well, my friend, I choose my balls every single time. _

_She said she'd rip off your balls if you told me? _I snorted. Yes, I could imagine my dear little friend saying that to her husband.

_Yes :(_

I groaned, rubbing my forehead. Okay, this was going to be a little harder than I thought. I'd have to talk the information out of him. Jasper would break easily, it would just take time. Time I didn't have at the moment.

I had to get ready to work.

Oh, joy.

In fact I had to work the rest of the day, and the day after that. Being busy was a blessing and a curse sometimes. I loved the money, hated not having time to do anything else.

Finally, I got some time to call Jasper sometime a couple days later.

"Hello?" Jasper yelled over something extremely loud in the background. I could tell instantly from working with Jasper for so long that it was a mixer.

"Hey, Jazz. It's Edward."

"Hey, man. What's up?" He asked distractedly.

"Um, I was kind of... well, you know... wondering. Well, maybe if you knew what kind of flowers Bella liked. I'd like to send her some. I don't want her to think I'm some douche who has one night stands without a single thought."

"I don't know. Let me ask her," he muttered. I nearly screamed at him.

"What do you mean, ask her? Is she there?"

He ignored me and I could hear the phone shuffling in my ear as he moved it away from his mouth to speak to someone on the other side. "Hey, Bella. What kind of flowers do you like?"

I was going to kill him. She made it clear that she didn't want that from me. She was going to think I was a stalker or something. I was just thinking about spending flowers. I wasn't sure yet.

Oh, yes. I was going to kill him.

"You douche! You total fucking douche! Don't do that! I was just thinking about it. She's going to hate me. STOP!"

I heard Bella's soft voice in the background, sounding a little panicked. I huffed as I plopped down on my couch and pinched the bridge of my nose.

I should have known it would never be that easy. Things never came easily to me, in this respect anyway.

"She doesn't want flowers," Jasper said into the phone in a matter of fact tone.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that, you ass hat."

I heard Alice in the background and then Bella once again. At least she didn't seem as panicked this time. It was much softer. And calmer.

"You shouldn't feel the need to, apparently," he said and I could practically see him rolling his eyes over the phone at being the messenger. Well, since she was obviously listen, I decided to take advantage of that fact.

"Tell her that... that I'm not like that, okay? That I would never so freely take someone's body and just use it. I want to get to know her better and-" Jasper cut me off.

"He says that he doesn't want you to think he used you."

"Okay, well, I said it in better terms than that, but yes," I mumbled, getting more and more annoyed by the minute.

There was more talking in the background and then Alice took the phone away from her poor bumbling husband."Look, Edward, Bella had an amazing time and yes, I know you're not that kind of guy. She's not that kind of girl. But Bella recently went through a trauma and she needs to work on herself some."

"Trauma. Is she okay?" I asked almost desperately. I would kick myself if I hurt her in any way.

"She's fine. She just needs time."

"I want to get to know her better," I told Alice in a pleading voice. "She seems like such a... beautiful woman."

"I think it would be a fantastic idea that you two get to know each other better but she has some stuff to deal with first. I know you understand that part. You've dealt with some of the same things," she answered.

"I want to help her. I could help her, Alice."

"Aw, sweetie, you're so sweet. Just give the girl some time."

"I need to explain who I am to her. I need to tell her that I would never do something like that without feeling some sort of connection. I just... I need to at the very least explain myself," I finished lamely.

"He says he feels the need to at the very least explain himself," Alice said to Bella. Apparently there was some sort of communication but I didn't hear it. "Edward, you don't need to."

"I want to though," I sighed heavily, scrubbing my hand over my face. "Can I talk to you later about this?"

If I couldn't get any useful information out of Jasper, I knew I could out of Alice. Besides, I think I needed a female ear for this problem.

"Okay," she answered slowly.

"I'll come over tomorrow and we'll talk."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later, honey. Alright, bye," she said before hanging up.

I sat there for a long minute, thinking about what I needed to do. I wanted... no... needed, to do something. If I couldn't talk to Bella about this directly, I had to send a note.

But, that didn't seem like enough for some reason.

And then a spark of inspiration struck. I could put it on a flash drive. It would appeal to her computer side and show that I was listening to her when she spoke. Also, it would be useful. And perhaps if she used it often she'd think of me.

I grabbed my laptop and went to the nearest store that sold that sort of thing. It was a wal-mart. It wasn't anything fancy and I decided to get some ribbon in the fabric department to pretty it up a bit. Also that way I could hang it on her door knob. She'd never miss it that way.

After I got it I was at a loss at what to write. I sat in my car, the raining pelting against the roof. I tapped my fingers against the keys, consider each word carefully. Finally I wrote it. I wrote exactly how I felt and what I'm sure she needed to hear.

I titled it 'I'm sorry' because honestly I didn't know how else to.

_Bella, _

_I realize that you don't want flowers or anything like that, but I felt the need to explain myself in a note or something. I figured this was the best way to do so. _

_I've been with four women my entire life. Most of them I dated for six months or longer. I'm not the kind of man to do something like that, just jump in headlong, but I couldn't help myself. I just want to make sure that you knew that I wasn't using you because you weren't exactly sober. I would love to have the chance to be your friend and to get to know you better, but I will wait until you are comfortable and ready. _

_You said many times that you weren't beautiful. I hope in time you realize that that isn't true. You're extremely beautiful. And extremely sexy. _

_Sorry, I don't want to make you feel awkward, but it's true. _

_Please know that when you are ready, I will be your friend if you let me. _

_Edward_

I certainly hoped she allowed me to be her friend. I wasn't exactly sure that was ever going to happen.

I threw myself into work after that. The only real break I got was when I went to my uncle Emmett's house for dinner.

"Hey, my man," he said, slapping my shoulder as he opened the front door. He was wearing an apron and it was covered with some kind of sauce.

I would have made fun of him but I knew he loved what he was doing. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded doing it either.

"How's it hanging?" I asked I came inside, passing him the six pack of English beer I brought with me. I knew he loved the stuff. He only ever drank it when I came over though because Rosalie didn't like beer in general and didn't want to keep it in the house.

"Long and to the left," he said, adjusting himself.

"You're disgusting."

"Yeah, I kind of am," he smiled at me, patting my shoulder again. "Come help me in the kitchen. Rosalie is taking a shower."

"Where's Bridget?" I asked.

As if she heard her name magically across the house, my darling appeared. I loved most of my cousins but there was just something special about her. Her, and the newest cousin in the family, Ferris. I felt more like an uncle than a cousin though. Perhaps that's why.

"EDWARD!" She squealed loudly, throwing herself into my arms and kicking her legs. "YOU'RE HERE!"

"Yes, I am!" I chuckled. "How are you, my beautiful little princess?"

"Awesome opossum," she giggled. "I'm watching Curious George. I think the man in the yellow hat is stupid. You shouldn't leave a monkey alone in a house. He should know better."

"Bridget, we don't use the word stupid. But I agree with you," Emmett said, his stern voice fading into a soft smile.

"Well, let me let you go back to your show," I said as I put Bridget down on the ground. She started shaking her head right away.

"I've got it paused. It's okay."

"She knows how to work the DVR?" I asked with a smirk.

"Better than I do. She records all of her shows. It's insane," Emmett sighed. "Honey, Eddie is going to help me in the kitchen so why don't you go finish your show and you can play with him later?"

"Okeday, daddy," she said before skipping off. I raised an eyebrow at my uncle.

"What?"

"Did she just quote Jar Jar Binks?"

"We watched Star wars the other day," he shrugged, giving me a rueful smile. "She's going to be a total Jedi geek if I have to force her."

"I don't think you'll have to," I mumbled as I followed him into the kitchen. He was making Parmesan chicken with Alfredo. It smelled great. "So, what's happening? We haven't talked in a while."

"Tanya finally made it back to Texas," he said, making me smile. I loved Rosalie's cousin Tanya. She was like another little sister or something. She was feisty and funny. We talked through email and on the phone sometimes, but it had been a year since I'd seen her last.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we're talking her to a Jimmy Buffet concert next week. Rose got the tickets free. Good seats, too."

"Awesome," I said, plopping down on one of the stool around the island. "Do you need a baby sitter? I'm free that night."

"Nah, got it covered. Bridget is going to stay with Edith."

"If she cancels, let me know," I assured him.

He looked at me curiously for a moment, pursing his lips. "Something is up with you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I tried to assure him but even when I began to speak he was shaking his head. "Dude, seriously. I'm fine."

"Yeah fucking right. I see right through you. Tell me what's wrong or I'll ask your mother."

"That's cold," I told him. He just raised his eyebrow in that 'try me' sort of way. "I met a girl."

"This is good, yes?"

"We had sex."

"Even better. Was it good?" He asked.

"The best I've ever had. It was... God, it was mind blowing, Em. I felt like... I felt like the whole world could have exploded and I wouldn't have noticed. She's beautiful and gorgeous and so sexy."

"And this is a problem how?" He asked as he stirred something that was in a pot. I could only assume it was his homemade tomato sauce.

"Uh, she doesn't want anything to do with me," I whined, slamming my head down on the island. "I made an ass of myself and she probably thinks I used her like a whore because I slept with her so quickly and I feel awful that I still want her. I mean REALLY want her. Like keep her in my arms forever and never ever let her go and-"

"Wow, Edward, you've got it bad," Rose said as she swayed into the kitchen, her long blond hair wet and twisted into curls. She came over and pressed a kiss into my cheek.

Most people thought she was an ice queen but you just had to get to know her. Alice teased her about it but we all knew the reasons why.

"Yeah, I normally do."

"Aw, sweetie. I know it's tough. It'll work out," she said in an unusually loving voice. She ran a hand over the back of my neck and played with a piece of hair, making me do a full over body shiver. She knew I always did that when people messed with my hair and she liked to me mess with me.

"I hope so," I sighed. I was tired of the subject being on me so I decided it was time to change it. "So? What can I do? Garlic bread or something?"

"Nah, I got this. Go set the table."

A week later I expected a very different kind of phone call from Emmett. I expected he'd be frantic and needing a baby sitter. Instead he asked me to come to the concert.

"Why?" I asked, confused. "I thought Tanya was going."

"She's sick," he sighed. "Cold or something. We've got an extra ticket. Jasper and Alice are coming with one of their buddies. Seth, I think."

It had been a while since I'd seen Seth. I was tired after working all day but it was a Saturday and I usually worked the nights. It probably wouldn't have been bad for me to go out.

"Sure. I'll be at your place in twenty."

"Cool, see you then."

"Where the hell are they?" Rosalie complained as she tapped her foot. "Jasper doesn't know how to be on time for anything. I swear to God."

"Now Rose," Emmett began but stopped as soon as he saw her evil little glare. "It's been a while since they been back in Texas. Maybe he got lost."

"There is such a thing as GPS," she huffed, flipping her perfect blond hair. "Finally!" She moaned when I saw a blond mop of hair floating over the cars. And then two women came into view.

"Holy shit," I said, surprised.

"What?" Emmett asked, looking at me.

"I thought you said he was inviting Seth!" I hissed at him.

"He said he was going to ask him!" He tried to defend himself. "Why does it even matter?"

"Because that's her."

"Who?"

"THE GIRL, YOU MORON!" I nearly shouted at him before catching myself.

"Oh... OH... Hell yeah, go you! She's foxy. A little round around the edges but I'd do her." Rosalie smacked him hard across the back of the head. "What? I would! Hm, I don't think they see us. HEY BRO!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. I flinched, placing myself behind his hulking form to give myself time to think.

All of like ten seconds.

"Get lost?" Emmett asked lamely.

"Yeah," Jasper groaned as he scrubbed a worn hand over his face. "Stupid traffic."

"Yeah, blame traffic," Alice as she flashed her husband in a dirty look. It was obvious that no one had noticed me yet, surprisingly. "Emmett, this is my friend Bella. Bella, this is Emmett and you remember Rosalie."

Emmett wrapped her up into one of his patented bear hugs, making him cringe. He was not making this easier on me. "Nice to meet you!"

"You too," she whimpered, her lips turning a slight white as he squeezed the life out of her. He put her down and moved to the side with an evil glint in his eye.

"Oh, yeah. And this is Edward." He winked over the top of Bella's head.

What the hell was he doing? He already knew that we knew each other. Did he want me to make an ass out of myself? I felt my cheeks flame as he continued to talk. I knew he was trying to be helpful in his own weird way but.. _gah_...

"T backed out at the last minute so I invited Ed. I knew you wouldn't mind."

"Hi," she said as she began to blush. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes focused on me, making me swallow hard.

"Ello," I said, trying to repress a smile. It wasn't happening. I was honestly just happy to see her again. I was beginning to wonder if I had just made it all up. If maybe she was just a great little dream.

And then she smiled back at me. I felt my inside melt slightly.

"Did I miss something?" Rosalie asked. Well, that just proved that she wasn't paying attention early. It wasn't really that surprising though. Rose ignored Emmett's horse shit most of the time.

"More than you'll ever know. Don't worry about it," Jasper said with a giant smirk. "Come on, lets go get our seats."

Alice and Bella talked the entire time we walked to our seats, their heads together. At one point Bella raised her voice and flushed slightly, shaking her head.

It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were talking about.

Our seats were together, which excited me to no end but if she was uncomfortable, I didn't mind moving. I just wanted her to be happy. I felt this deep need to please her for some reason.

"Is this okay?"

"It's fine," she said after she shivered slightly. That didn't assure me of anything.

As the music began, Bella began to dance playfully along. It was so... cute. And sexy, all at the same time. I'm not sure how she managed it. Her smile was luminescent, making me feel once again, warm all over. She began to sing the words as Jimmy did, her voice just added to the crowd.

I couldn't help but smile at the image.

Of course, that's when she caught me staring at her. But she did something unexpected. She winked at me, smiling this almost rueful, roguish smile.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt hope.

**There it is! Another outtake! I hope you enjoyed! I'm just going in order just in case I do decide to do the full thing.**

**Poor Ed, he seems so stressed out. Does this help you get into his mind a bit more?**


	4. Chapter 4

**As, I promised! Another outtake. I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read any of my stories and even more so the people who have taken the time to review. Thank you. **

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**A new feeling**

I knew the song as soon as it came on. It was a favorite of mine when I was younger, probably one of the reasons I was so chunky. I loved cheeseburgers and the song always made me crave them. Even now, a cheeseburger and a beer would be fantastic.

But when Alice pushed past me to dance with Bella, I was craving something else. Her. I wanted her. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to dance with Bella. Though, I decided to settle for watching them sing and dance together.

Jasper patted my shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows as he showed me his phone. I chuckled and moved back so he could take a picture. The girls hugged just long enough for him to take the photo before beginning to dance again.

"Send me that picture," I whispered before he put his phone away. At least that way I'd have something to look at when I thought about Bella.

Another song came on, one I didn't know. Bella seem to though, singing along with the words. The song was a little dirty at points and when she screamed 'learn how to score' at the top of her lungs with the rest crowd I had to turn my face to hide my laughter. When I turned back to look at her she was dissolved into giggles.

"I'm getting tired of that woman ignoring me," Jasper mumbled to himself as he pulled Alice away from Bella. Both girls pouted for a second but Alice quickly forgot as she began to literally grind against my dear friend. And then they began to kiss, passionately and deeply. I was so jealous I was nearly sick to my stomach. They didn't know how lucky they were.

When the next song came on Bella's eyes focused on me, almost panicked. I bit my bottom lip as I watched her tense as the crowd began to sing along. "Why don't we get drunk and screw?"

"I'm going to get a drink!" She yelled over the noise, leaning over to make sure Alice heard her. I knew she was uncomfortable because of me. I made her feel that way and I hated myself for it. I had to make sure she was okay.

"Me, too," I said as I trailed after Bella. I felt a large hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. I'd talk to Emmett later. When we were in the lobby and the noise wasn't so bad I called to her. "Are you _that_ uncomfortable? That you can't even listen to a song about sex?"

She laughed nervously, not looking at me as she answered with a quiet, "not exactly."

"I'm sorry," I told her, feeling horrible. My eyes stung and my stomach clenched painful at the thought of making this beautiful creature unhappy in any way.

"Hey! Don't do that. I told you that I was fine. And I'd really like to be friends with you. This can be a good start," Bella began to walk again, not really looking at me as she went forward. She sighed as she got into the line, leaning against one of the metal poles that roped off the line.

"I'd like that," I told her quietly. I wasn't sure if she meant it, but I did want that.

"So," she began nervously. I could tell Bella was grasping for straws. Yeah, good start my ass. I wished I could get her alone and really talk to her but that wasn't happening anytime soon. "Um, how do you know Emmett and Rosalie?" She finally asked.

"Oh, Em is actually my uncle," I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest and holding the sides of my forearms.

"Your uncle?" Bella snorted. "He's not that much older than me. And he seems like a good old boy. How'd that happen?"

I laughed quietly. She certainly did have a point there. "He is a good ol' boy and he's only like eight years older than me. My mother is originally from Texas."

"Okay, so wait? How did you get the accent?" She asked as a slender finger pointed towards my mouth. My lips automatically curled up into a small smile as I thought about sucking on that finger, bringing it to my mouth and giving her something really to think about. But, alas, I had to behave.

"My father is British. My mum went to London for schooling. They met and fell and love. You know that type of thing."

I had heard the story a million times from my mother. My dual personality father with his clash t shirt and bad eyeliner and then slicked back blond locks and lab coat. How my grandparents hated her. How it didn't matter and they got married in a short amount of time. Instantly in love.

I wondered briefly if what I was feeling for Bella was anything close. I already knew it was stronger than affection. I let the thought fade away as quickly as it came.

"How did you end up here then?" Bella asked in a soft voice, biting her plush bottom lip between her perfectly white teeth. It was all too arousing. "If you don't mind me asking, anyway."

Was she trying to tease me? I stealthily adjusted myself before clearing my throat.

"You can ask me anything. Well, we lived in London until I was about ten. We came back to go to Emmett and Rosalie's wedding and my dad saw how much my mother missed being around her family so he arranged to get a job at the children's hospital here."

I hated moving here originally, but I wasn't going to tell her that. It would have been, at the very least, an over share. She didn't need to know my problems when apparently she was dealing with enough of her own.

"Wow, that's awesome. You've been here ever since?" She asked, seeming really interested.

"Yup."

"Do you ever think of going back to London?"

Well, that was certainly the million dollar question. I had been asked that many times. I knew the answer, but it took me a while to get to it.

"Well, not to live. My dad retired last year and they moved back so they can be closer to all the 'romantic' places they want to visit in Europe. I wouldn't mind visiting them soon. It's been a while since I've seen them."

"Do you like Texas better?" She asked.

Yes and no. Each had it's good things and bad. But, even if I had been considering moving back to London, I knew I wouldn't now.

"Lets just say there is a lot more natural beauty here," I informed her with a wink. She flushed, looking down at her feet as she struggled to find something to say.

I was a stupid ass. I made her uncomfortable again. I was just doing _fantastic_.

"So, I never asked what you did for a living," Bella asked as she changed the subject completely.

"I'm a musician," I told her with a shrug.

"Ah. That makes sense."

_Huh? What makes sense?_

"Well, you're just so smooth. I should have figured that and-" Bella began, answering a question I didn't realize I said out loud. I smiled as she called me smooth. No one had told me that before. I wanted to know what else she was going to say.

"That and what?"

"You're really good with your hands."

When she said that I wanted to do a flip. I smiled wildly, my cheeks heating up with I'm sure an almost purple color. I could tell she was being honest as well because she was blushing too. She hadn't wanted to say it out loud. My ego increased greatly with those words.

Bella cleared her throat roughly as she continued. "What do you play?"

"Piano, guitar, bass, and the violin."

The better question was 'what don't you play?'. I did actually play more than that but I wasn't going to go into it. Those were the main ones. I didn't want to, once again, over share. I didn't want to sound like a show off either.

"Ah, a man of many talents," she giggled as she came to the counter. We both ordered a drink as we continued to chat.

"Well, I started piano when I was like three. Then I started violin in school because I wanted to do something different. And then of course as I got a little older I tried the guitar and bass to be cool," I told her as I slipped a ten dollar bill onto the counter to pay for our drinks. A gentlemen never would allow a lady to pay for her own drink but she slipped a folded up bill into my jeans pocket. Her hand brushed against my thigh in doing so, making me strain in an almost uncomfortable way. I would have taken it out and hoped that she argued and do it again, but it wouldn't have been very nice of me. So I continued on with what I was saying before. "It pays the bills."

"So, what? Do you play in a band or something?" She asked, walking less than a foot away from me. I could feel the heat roll off her body.

"No, actually. I play at special events, birthdays, weddings, and such. Or I play at clubs or restaurants. I've actually been booked up solid to just after Christmas."

"So..." She trailed off, her smile turning coy. "You're a wedding singer."

Like I hadn't heard that before. It usually made me mad but coming from Bella it was different. I knew she wasn't being mean. I knew she wasn't teasing me.

"No! I don't sing! Besides, do I look like Adam Sandler to you?" I asked her.

She giggled softly, the sound almost musical. "No. Not at all."

"Thank goodness," I answered with a sigh. For a long moment we just stood outside the door, the sound so loud that it was making the thick steel doors shake. I placed my hand on the small of her back, gesturing towards the entryway. "So, should we go back in?"

"Would you mind if I finished my drink first?" She asked quietly as she leaned against the wall. Her chest pushed out slightly, making her already ample breasts more defined as they pointed outwards. "It's kind of loud in there."

Like I could pay attention to anything after seeing those. I shook my head to clear away my unclean thoughts. "No, you're right. It is kind of too loud at the moment."

"So," she smiled slightly as she casually flipped her hair off of her shoulder. Bella's large brown eyes gazed up at me with a soft twinkling in them. So lovely.

"So," I answered back sarcastically in turn. "This is kind of awkward."

"Not as badly as I expected," she told me truthfully. "It's easy to talk to you."

I cheeks flamed and I cleared my throat, feeling slightly uncomfortable in a lot of ways I could not explain. I looked up from my drink to see her smiling sweetly, almost gently. "So, are you liking the concert so far?" Bella asked, changing the subject.

Conversation was a lot smoother after that. I felt myself blush constantly at the thoughts of kissing her and touching her. She was so close, yet so far away. I wanted her and I doubt she even knew how I was feeling.

"I like this song, but geez, do they have to be so loud?" Bella mumbled to herself when Margaritaville came on. I'm surprised dust didn't shake down from the ceiling as the crowd roared.

I chuckled, swishing around the ice that was left in my cup before taking a sip of diluted soda. "They usually do. Besides, you've got to remember how many of these people have been drinking. Drunk people are loud, trust me. I know this from experience."

Bella giggled quietly as the song came to an end. Her hand touched mine, only for a second but her fingers left a trail of fire. "Want to go back in?"

"Sure," I answered, even though I'd rather just stay out here with her. It wasn't exactly private but at least I had her all to myself.

When we came in Emmett yanked me back slightly and whispered in my ear. "What was that?"

"I went to get a soda," I answered sarcastically. "Everything is fine."

"Should have brought me a beer," he muttered as he let me go.

"No, I shouldn't have. You're driving home, remember?"

To that, he simply huffed.

"Well, since we're getting so close to Halloween, I have a special song for you guys! Just right for such an occasion," Jimmy Buffett shouted from the stage, a roar of noise answering his words. Classic Halloween style music began to play with organs and a lot of bass, the noise rumbling through my chest. I glanced down at Bella to see what she thought of this whole thing. A large smile was spread across her plush pink lips, her eyes wide as her hips subconsciously swayed to the music. After a moment she caught me, her eyes gazing up into mine.

"_Vampires, mummies, and the holy ghost are the things that terrify me the most..." _The entire crowd screamed along with him. I had never even heard of the song before. Another song I'd have to look up later and add to my collection. _"I was never ever frightened of the murderer on my block. He nurtured orchids and raised hamsters. The neighborhood is still in shock!"_

I watched as the words filtered through her mind, understanding the full meaning of them. I laughed quietly as did she, her smile so warm and lovely. Still, our eyes didn't move from the others.

"_I need protection from the things in my head..." _

I moved beside her, lightly pressing my shoulder into hers as I leaned down to whisper just so she could hear, "I don't think I'm the only one that knows how that feels."

She laughed, bumping back into my shoulder. Bella nodded, rolling her eyes softly as she glanced back up at the stage.

The next song that came on sounded like something straight from New Orleans. Zydeco, complete with the sound of a person playing a wash board in the background. The beat was bright and bouncy, perfect for dancing. I looked at Bella once again and followed her eyes to Alice who was dancing with her husband. A small pouting frown formed on her lips and I simply could not allow that to linger.

"Can I have this dance?" I asked with all the bravery I could muster, my hand held out. Sometimes I knew I appeared to be almost cocky but in all honesty I was so shy. But, I wanted to touch her more than I wanted to be standing here like a douche. So, I waited as she considered my offer.

And consider she did. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. I was worried she'd tell me no when suddenly her hand was in mine.

The fact that she said yes to the dance made me want to celebrate. It was stupid, I know, but I pulled her to me with a quick tug of my arms. She squealed and laughed as I dipped her backwards, her body like a rag doll against me.

Finally my dance lessons as a child paid off. I'd have to thank my mother later.

"Ah!" Bella whined in surprise when I bent her almost completely backwards. I held her there a beat too long, too hypnotized by her beautiful breasts which were shoved in my face to move. I pulled her up too quickly and she slammed into my chest. I laughed nervously as she giggled, pushing her hair out of her face. I let her take the lead more after that, my hands resting comfortably on her waist despite wanting to be somewhere else entirely.

It was so hard to be a gentleman sometimes.

A slow song came on, yet another one I didn't know. I vowed to myself to download all of Jimmy Buffett's CDs when I got home. Bella certainly seemed to know this song. I leaned forward with my lips pressed against her ear. "Still want to dance?"

Her body was so warm and soft against mine and I could feel the heavy thumping of her heart against my chest as we moved. I wasn't even listening to the song anymore. Her heartbeat was for more beautiful.

When it finally ended I didn't want to let go. She smiled slightly and sighed as my lips curved in a weak manner. It was obvious to anyone around us that I didn't want to let go of her. Even she could tell.

Yes, friends. We could be friends.

_Dammit_.

The final song of the night came on, though I didn't really notice. I was too much in my own world. I wanted to say some things to Bella but I wasn't exactly sure how to do that. I sat back down in my seat, taking in slow breaths as I tried to concentrate even though the crowd was so extremely loud as the moved out of the arena.

Bella sat down as well, her hands carefully folded in her lap as she looked over at me with a tiny smile. "Thanks for the dance."

"I should be thanking you. I had a really good time," I told her truthfully. We gazed at each other for a long moment before she spoke.

"I did too."

I had two choices. I could basically be a pussy, as Emmett would call me, and not say anything. I could let her go on with her life and leave her alone. Or, I could stop being a coward and give this girl my email address at the very least. She wanted to be friends. She said that. Well, friends talked. How else were we going to get to know each other?

I pulled out the sharpie pen that I had in my pocket. I always kept one with me when I was writing my own music. I had probably a hundred of them scattered all around my apartment and my car in all different colors.

"Look, I know things are really awkward and all but like I said, I want to be your friend if you want to be mine. Here's my email address and you can drop me a line sometime. We can talk and get to know each other better," I said as I grabbed one of those pretty little hands and wrote out her email on the palm of her hand quickly. I saw the ink begin to smear around the edges so I brought her hand up and blew on it to help it dry so that it would be readable later.

I let go of her hand slowly so not to make her nervous and began to put my pen away. But, before I could Bella snatched it away from me and took my hand in hers. I smiled like a moron when I saw her begin to write.

"This is mine. Definitely write me, okay? I'd love to chat."

"Yeah. That sounds great."

Hell yeah, this bravery thing wasn't so bad. I gave her hand a small squeeze of my fingers before leaning over and lightly kissing her cheek. I could taste a hint of her makeup and the light bit of salt from sweat, but underneath it all I could taste the sweetness of Bella.

"Ah, Edward!" Rosalie playfully cooed as we walked back to their car after saying an awkward goodbye to Bella, Jasper, and Alice. "You are adorable."

"You mean he is a big old gir-" Emmett started but stopped when he saw the look in Rosalie's eyes. The blue flashed red with anger, or perhaps reflection of someone's brake lights, but either way it got her husband to shut up.

"That's the girl you're in love with, huh?"

"I never said I was in love with her," I complained.

"You didn't have to," Emmett said, slapping my back hard. "It's kind of obvious. Man, you wear your heart on your sleeve."

"I barely know her."

"I knew Rose less than a minute before I knew that I was in love with her," Emmett said quietly before clearing his throat. "Bella seems nice though. Did you two have a quickie in the bathroom or something? Is that why you didn't bring me a beer?"

Rosalie hit her husband soundly on the back of the head, thankfully ending the conversation.

Emmett drove like a bat out of hell so I arrived home rather quickly after the concert. I sat down at my computer first thing and typed her email address into my contact list. And then I just sat there, considering what I wanted to do.

Bravery was working well for me. Besides, she did give me her email address after all. I'd send her an email. Something short. Something not too uncomfortable. Something a friend would say.

I titled it goodnight. I simply wrote out two sentences.

_I just want to say that I had amazing time tonight because of you. I hope you sleep well and goodnight._

After that I felt uncomfortable and antsy. I didn't think I could sleep so I decided to try to find information on my own about Bella. Yeah, I googled her. It wasn't exactly classy but it wasn't like Alice or Jasper were giving me the information I needed. Not that I knew what I needed at this point.

I saw her website, beautifully made. There was several articles from local news websites talking about her and how well her business was going. She had won a couple of awards. It also brought up a picture of her standing beside her father as he won some award from the government. She was wearing a lovely green dress with a white sweater and he was wearing a full out police uniform, complete with white gloves. The picture was from several years old, but I liked it so much that I saved it.

I was just about to stop when I heard my email ding. I clicked the tab with the envelope on it and instantly smiled.

It was a reply back from Bella. I actually did a happy dance in my chair.

It was just as simple as mine. Only two sentences as well. _I had a good time too. Sweet dreams. _

I answered her without even thinking about it. My fingers worked without my permission.

_I have no doubt that I will because my dreams will be filled with you._

There was no reply after that. Not that I really expected one. I placed my face in my hands and gave a long sigh.

Emmett was right. I was in love with this girl and I didn't even know her. And I was stuck with nothing more than an email address and a stained and awkward 'friendship'.

Fuck my life.

* * *

**Our Eddie is a bit of a perv, isn't he? He's still a sweetheart though.**

**I'm sure I will add more to this very soon but for now, I'm going to take a break. I'll have a lot more coming out around the first of September! I may even throw out a one shot before then. So, keep an eye out. **

**Who wants to give Edward a hug?**


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